“And now, the end is near…

“And so I face the final net cord…”

I think that’s how it goes.

After 400 tonnes of strawberries consumed (inaccurate)… 300 gallons of bubbly stuff guzzled (probably inaccurate)… 600,000 debenture seats de..benched (highly inaccurate)… and four million notifications of new balls (wrong)…

…we come to this – the final day of action at Wimbledon 2017*.

Please don’t cry because we end it on a supreme high – the men’s final between Roger Federer and Maric Cilic (14:00 BST).

But those two are just one filling of a mighty Day 13 sandwich featuring British meat – more on that in a tick.

So keep those whites on for one final time, before the 90° wash cycle, and settle down.

*in the unlikely scenario it rains a lot and the roof fails to close because they haven’t put enough money in the Centre Court meter, it might finish Monday.

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